Seneca's 'Stache
by CityGirl13
Summary: *ONE SHOT* Question: How does the moustache look like it does? Answer: He waxes it. Question: What happens when Seneca comes home drunk one night? Answer: …


**I have never written humour before, so this probably isn't that good, but I owe it to insaneandlugingit for my payback on her earlier. **

The darkness disorientated Seneca Crane's already confused mind, he had to grab the walls and stumble along until he reached the door to his flat. Then there was the added complication of finding the sensor over which to place his hand so he could get in. Something about placing his hand over it, and the tickling sensation of the scanner, just made him giggle. Maybe he _had_ drunk a little too much that night, but it was all in good celebration. It was almost time for the 74th Hunger Games, so it was well deserved.

Seneca had needed tonight for other reasons of course, he was the youngest Gamemaker the Capitol had seen, and he had to live up to a reputation. He knew what he wanted though, it would be the most exciting Games yet! But now he had the challenge of keeping his eyes open long enough to let the retina scanner work. It took several tries, and he was close to being locked out of his apartment before it finally worked.

Finally, he was assaulted by green flashes that he could only remember meant good, and the door whooshed backwards. Stumbling forwards, Seneca groped around blindly.

"Where is the damned light switch…" he muttered; fumbling on the wall panel by the door.

He hit it, and got a bit of a shock when the entire ceiling lit up.

"Argh!"

He punched at the control pad, and got it to tone down a bit, but his eyes were still seeing black dots from the original assault upon them. He made his way to the kitchen, having a little trouble when he tripped over his sofa. Stupid place for it anyway, right in the middle of the living room like that, anyone could trip over it!

"Stupid thing… I should get it moved," he complained; as he struggled to find the will to make the effort to heave himself up off the soft thing.

Eventually the swirling colours in his vision prompted him to force himself up, and he kept on making his way to the kitchen. He was next stopped by an almighty CRASH! Looking down, he saw that one of his vases had miraculously fallen off its pedestal.

"That's not good…" he noted, "Damn, I liked that vase!"

He cast around for something to clear it up with, but the cleaners would be in tomorrow anyway.

"I'll get it replaced," he mused.

Then it was a simple matter of finally making it to the kitchen, and locating the right cupboard he wanted.

"Nope," he said; after pulling one open and finding it full of video tapes.

What were they doing in his kitchen? Then he realised… he had stumbled into his records room. Heaving a sigh, he left, thankfully not knocking anything over, and found the _real_ kitchen.

"Next time I move, I'm making sure all the rooms are clearly different," he noted; before banging his head on an open cupboard door, "Shit! Who left that open?"

Then he remembered, he'd opened it about half a second ago, "…oh."

Well, he found what he was looking for at least, reaching up and pulling down a bottle of bright blue liquid. The colour made him laugh, it was so ridiculously blue, but a nice colour. He liked blue… no, he was defocusing, argh, he needed to be ready for work tomorrow. Pouring himself a glass of the liquid, struggling not to laugh as he raised it to his lips, he took it down like a shot.

The relief was almost immediate, his sight returned to normal, giving him the illusion of being more focused. At least his senses were cleared now, but his brain was still a little muddled. Sleep would help that though, at with proper vision he could navigate his living room with more ease.

However, just because his sight was back to normal, as affor mentioned, his brain was still drunk. And he was so tired… sleep was dragging at his eyelids as he entered his bedroom. But he scrubbed a hand across his chin, and felt that tonight was definitely not a night that he could put off tending his beard. Sighing as he walked into his bedroom, he just wanted to get this over with and get to bed. He reached into a draw and pulled out the box containing the custom made waxing paper he used to achieve the shape he had. A smile played with his lips as he traced a finger over the curves, it really was a piece of work, and he was damned proud of it.

"Best beard in the Capitol," he said proudly.

But his eyes were now spending more time shut than open, he needed to get this done with. Pulling off the covering that was in place over the wax side, he stuck it on, waited for a few seconds, then ripped it off.

"Hell!"

The process seemed to have stung a little more than usual, but already his feet were tugging him to bed. It was an early start tomorrow, and he needed to cut a good impression in front of all the others. It took seconds after he tumbled into bed, for him to fall deeply asleep.

**/*0*/**

One of his Avoxes was shaking him lightly, and Seneca's blue eyes snapped open.

"What?"

The mute slave obviously couldn't reply verbally, so she merely gestured to the clock. Seneca swore, and badly, he would be late if he took more than the bare minimum of time. There was _just_ time enough to change, but beyond that, no. He sprang out of bed swiftly, crossing to his wardrobe in quick strides. The Avox followed him, gesturing wildly at his head for some odd reason.

"Now what is it?" he snapped; in a hurry to change and leave.

But she ushered him into his wardrobe, making him face the full length mirror, and pointing at his head again.

Seneca Crane was not shocked by much, being a Gamemaker you had to have a pretty high resistance to the sort of thing, but his jaw dropped open now. His head, right in the middle of his dark hair, was a waxed out patch in the shape his beard had meant to been in. He ran a hand over it, hoping it was just a trick of his eyes or something, but his fingers his bare skin where they should.

He groaned loudly, _never _again, he was never drinking ever again.

**I do have a multichapter Seneca fic planned, and that'll be out sometime this year I hope :P But put this on alert, and I'll post you all another AN chapter when I put up 'The Game We Play'**


End file.
